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I've had this xanga for over 1,000 days and I recall saying that
I would probaly make a new xanga after that so I think i'm going to
pursue that..
[ www.xanga.com/m4ryalic3 ]
These past years have probaly been the most insane, complicated. But, I've gotten through them..
And I can get through anything else..
I am almost sure.
"Just keep on looking up."
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| I'm listening to brand new? :]
So, lets recap spring break shall we?
lets see,
Friday Night of Spring Break I think I went to the church with Caitie
Cakes so she could carry the cross and sat ith her silly papa
Saturday we just hung out :]
I went home that night I think?
Sunday.. was easter so we went to new york. That was alot of fun :D..Eh. *cough*
Monday I hung out with My papa, my mama, marie and erin :]
Tuesday Caitie Cakes picked me up and surprised me with FLOWAS for our ONE MONTH:] That was also her mamas birthday hehe
Wednesday I believed I helped her KINDA organize/clean her old room?
Thursday, my papa drove me there at like 10:30.. Alanna picked us up at
like 12ish. Matt and David came. It was alot of fun hehe Caitie Behbeh
didn't sleep over because she didnt feel well.
Friday, Cait,Alanna,David, Matt, Peter and I all saw Disturbia which was really good and scary :[
Saturday, Megabs and Desi Arnez came over. Got into a fight with Ashley
Nessman. Loser we went to Ashley Hastings.
Cait,Alanna,David,Bill,Ainsley and Ashley of course, were there..
Sunday, I think i cleaned up around the house and what not
END SPRING BREAK
Tuesday I went on a field trip to some play and fuddruckers with Megabs
:D It was so much fun! Jen and her friend chilled with us along wtih
some kid Brian..who we called Joe? hehehehe
Then I stopped by Caitie Cakes' house to say hi for like an hour.
Wednesday i dont recall what I did
Thursday I went out with my mama to go to wal*mart and watch erin at westys and get stuff for Caitie Cakes' surprise
YESTERDAY
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Megabs came home on my bus then we stopped at Taras house fast and went home.
At home we cleaned, cooked and lit the candles, put down the rose
petals, I filled out the card and whatnot and we set everything up.
Megabs left at 6:30 and Caitie Cakes came over. We ate dinner and i
think? she liked the surprise hehe then we watched the sunset and went
out to Mandees to get her a dress for her confirmation :]
I went to her house for a bit then I went home? :[
Today I'm chillaxin then we're gonna go watch her cousin wrestle hehe
SLEEPIN OVA
Then tomorrow I'm not too sure what the haps are..
I have homework for science
but Rich wants to hang out? I need to talk to cayteh behbeh about that.
Megabs and Desi Arnez wanna chillax
andnnnnnnddndnddnananadnnd my birthday is next weekend :D
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| SO!
I'm trying to figure out a way to express myself but I really don't believe i can.
I haven't felt so happy in a while.
I feel like this huge weight is lifted off my shoulders.
I have my baby. My Caitie Cakesss. My lovahh
and I have the comfort in knowing that there won't be any problems with Brandon.
Last night was great.
I am also feeling the spice in our relationship and it's great. :]
No matter what problems we face we always get through them and it always makes us that much stronger.
I love Cait so much and I woke up this morning with a smile on my face.
And I just grabbed my journal and a pen and just wrote and I haven't written anything filled with happiness
in such a long time. I know this is pure and true happiness and that just makes me so ahh!
And tonight we're going to Ashley Hastings for a bit of a get together.
I should rest considering last night I was up till one after we went to
the movies.
hehe
Peter [Not Panikos, Chianchiano], Alanna, Matt and David came along with us.
It was alot of fun. I really do love all of them :]
hehe
And Cait couldn't get me to stop smiling. I feel so completed right now and it feels so great.
It wasn't because I believe the compliments it's because she was saying
them like she truly meant it and..That just made me really happy.
I love her. So.
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| Today was not a good day. Between alexa giving me a dumbass note and me just being extremely tired and all this other shitttt.. :/ blahblahblah | | |
| Is it Ironic that I wrote this about Corey [though crappy] and it still works for Brandon.. in more ways than one.
Should have seen through the lies
and your dark eyes.
Should have seen through your smile
and known you'd be here for only a short while.
Should've told you everything I thought,
Instead of just forgave and forgot.
Should've let you know how I feel,
should've known the real deal.
Should've known from the start,
That you'd tear things apart.
I just regret and now I feel dumb,
because suddenly it's as if you've gone numb
To pain, to happiness, to any emotion at all,
and I'm stuck with the emotion ball.
I hate thinking of inside jokes, all they do is make me sad,
I appreciated everything but now you just make me mad.
Your selfish and inconsiderate, two things I don't understand,
How you could be giving and understanding, then suddenly, for you, feelings are banned.
As if you incapable of compassion or anything close to it,
i don't pull guilt trips, you of all people knew it.
Now I'm stuck with anger and sadness and it's not because of me,
it's because of the way you act and how you treated me
I wish you could see in my point of view, understand how it hurt,
how I wish you were 6 feet under, buried in the dirt.
There's only a certain extent that we could take,
now it seems like friendship with you was a big mistake.
I miss the old you and how you used to be,
because everyone called you an asshole but you were wonderful to me.
Now your just twofaced and dont get it,
That just annoys me but I'll try not to let it.
I guess I should stop, this is pointless anyway,
I wish you would change, but maybe in the future, in some way.
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